Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy is the greatest rock n roller that no one cares about anymore. He wrote dozens of melodic, hard-driving rock songs with big, sexy hooks; he had rock star charisma and presence on-stage; and Thin Lizzy was a real LIVE band, a rarity in the days of Pro Tools, acrobatic math rock geeks, and shoegazers with as much visual appeal as a wet blanket. What’s left of his vast oeuvre that you might have heard recently?
One fucking song. That’s it. “The Boys are Back in Town”, an AOR staple most likely to be found on stations with names like K105 The Eagle, WR99.9 The Boneyard- “rock n roll to bone you all night, it’s ninety-nine nine … THE BONE!”
It’s a mediocre tune at best, too bright-eyed and major key, a merry little tune about the Gang getting back together, knocking back a few, and engaging females in some (gasp) sexual banter.
Lyrically, it sums up why Phil will never get his due. Our current crop of men, shamed into submission by “toxic masculinity” and the “inherent misogyny of the male gaze”, wouldn’t dare emulate, let alone play out loud, such brutal paeans to WrongThink.
It gets worse; essentially, he’s about having a good time and banging as many chicks as he possibly can. What a MONSTER!
Horrors abound in Lynott’s lyrics:
“Jailbreak” is about predacious men on the loose, GETTING CHICKS:
Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak
So woman stay with a friendYou know it's safer
Breakout!
Tonight there's gonna be a breakout
Into the city zones
Don't you dare to try and stop us
No one could for longSearchlight on my trail
Tonight's the night all systems fail
Hey you good lookin' female
Come here!
In “Killer on the Loose” Lynott took on the lyrical persona of Jack the Ripper and offered up this gem:
Now you might think I'm messing
Or he don't exist
But honey I'm confessing
I'm a mad sexual rapistThere's a killer on the loose again
A killer on the loose
There's a killer on the loose again
A ladykiller on the loose
Lynott’s sins are unforgivable in these modern times, where we judge the past by the present, wherein we subject all that has been to the multifarious purity tests currently in vogue. Failure brings scorn, dismissal, or worse: ironic appreciation. This thinking has infected musicians—which is probably why modern rock sucks, it’s either fake tough guys braying over stupid ham-handed riffs, jackhammer missionary with an American Psycho flex in the mirror; or is airtight, flawless and mathematically precise riffing with absolutely zero groove. There’s nothing dangerous or sexy about it.
(Full disclosure: Rock n Roll was, is, and will forever be about: 1) starting a gang, (a gang that just happens to be play music) and 2) fucking chicks. Budding aspirants and acolytes: if you can’t dance to it, you can’t fuck to it. I love me some metal, but before you start working on right hand picking and arpeggio sweeps, just realize that those countless hours of bedroom practice will earn you a crowd full of black clad neck beards, with nary a woman in sight. Hey-it worked out for Rob Halford, so maybe it will work for you too!)
But Lynott’s not pure Id; he turns to the other favorite topic of the rock genre, dancing with Mr. Brownstone:
in “Got to Give it Up”, he sings
I've been messing with the heavy stuff
For a time I couldn't get enough
But I'm waking up and it's wearing off
Junk don't take you farTell my Mama I'm coming home
In my youth I'm getting older
And I think it's lost control
Mama I'm coming home
Sadly, Phil never made it home. The Needle and the Damage done, he died January 4, 1986, at the age of 36. Another rock hero fallen too soon, but not before he left behind a vast body of work ripe for the pickin’.
Middle-aged men like me don’t need Thin Lizzy; we’ve had our run. It’s the kiddos that need Lynott, his devilish charm, fist-pumping spirit, and proud swagger. Kids: you don’t need permission from anyone to rock; you don’t have to hide or apologize.
Somewhere in America there is a handful of young men who could become a gang, a road-seasoned, battle-hardened wrecking crew, a real rock n roll band alive with that inimitable magic of youth and confidence, poised and ready to set the world afire—if only they let themselves.
Hell, Phil said it best in “Do Anything You Want To”:
There are people that will investigate you
They'll insinuate, intimidate and complicate you
Don't ever wait or hesitate to state the fate that awaits those who
Try to shake or take you
Don't let them break youYou can do anything you want to do
It's not wrong what I sing it's true
You can do anything you want to do
Do what you want to
So, to all you starry-eyed bedroom rockers out there in radio land, it’s time to STONED and BONED with a Thin Lizzy six pack: “Jailbreak”, “Waiting for an Alibi”, “Killer on the Loose”, “Romeo and the Lonely Girl”, and “Emerald” coming atcha from Ninety-Nine None, THE BONE!